Do I Have To?

You'd think with a title like the one for this post, it would be about how the students whine. They do, don't get me wrong. Some of them even whine in a whiny voice and you're stuck standing there blinking at them with an incredulous look because you know you're teaching high school, but it feels like there's a five year-old in front of you.

But no. This is about phoning home to parents.

When I went to teacher's college, I had a teacher (who taught mostly primary) tell the class that at the beginning of the year you should phone home to each student and say something positive to the parents so that you start off with a good foot forward with the parents. This is all fine and dandy and I would love to do it, but I have so many students and not for the whole year either and the practicality is not really there. At least for me. Maybe someone will be able to tell me the magical secret on how to do it.

However, even if I had the time, the truth is - I hate phoning home. I hate talking to parents. The truth is, it's scary. I have no idea how people in telemarketing do it, but at least they have a script to follow. My first year of teaching I would actually write down my spiel to the parent before phone and it would inevitable that the conversation would go somewhere that my script did not and I would get flustered. I end up doing a lot of 'uhs' and 'ums' and by the time the phone call is over I wonder if the parent even thinks I'm competent anymore.

Let's face it. Most teachers phone home when there's a problem. Usually we phone home when the problem has either persisted for a long time or serious enough to warrant a call home. Since they're not fun to begin with, we're not about to phone home every time little Bobby says a bad word or little Janet stubs her toe. In fact, most teachers (or maybe just most young teachers, I don't know) put up with a lot in their classroom before they'll pick up the phone and plead for help from parents.

When you do have to phone home because a student crossed the line or you've reached the point they haven't handed in any of the 16 assignments and are about to fail, you look up in the student's information and then pause for a moment by the phone before you dial. You never have any idea who will be on the other end. Sometimes they are super supportive (hooray!) and other times you find yourself on the end of a raging lunatic who thinks it's your fault gas prices are too high and pollution is ruining the ecosystem (ack!). I had to phone home once for a bullying issue and the parent had the nerve to tell me that it 'takes two to be bullied'. I was so flabbergasted I had no idea what to say at the time and the right choice of words only came to me on the drive home.

I don't hide the fact I hate phoning home. I tell my students all the time. I plead with them. "Please. Just do the assignment. Don't make me have to phone home. It's awkward for me, it's awkward for you. No one wins." Sometimes this works and sometimes you still have to head for that dial tone.

With technology, a lot of parents have adopted emailing and I much prefer that because it gives me time to form responses I'm happy with, but I don't think the school system will ever get rid of 'the phone call home'. It's a part of my job I extremely dislike and like my students on occasion, I whine and say to myself "Do I have to??"