Do I Have To?

You'd think with a title like the one for this post, it would be about how the students whine. They do, don't get me wrong. Some of them even whine in a whiny voice and you're stuck standing there blinking at them with an incredulous look because you know you're teaching high school, but it feels like there's a five year-old in front of you.

But no. This is about phoning home to parents.

When I went to teacher's college, I had a teacher (who taught mostly primary) tell the class that at the beginning of the year you should phone home to each student and say something positive to the parents so that you start off with a good foot forward with the parents. This is all fine and dandy and I would love to do it, but I have so many students and not for the whole year either and the practicality is not really there. At least for me. Maybe someone will be able to tell me the magical secret on how to do it.

However, even if I had the time, the truth is - I hate phoning home. I hate talking to parents. The truth is, it's scary. I have no idea how people in telemarketing do it, but at least they have a script to follow. My first year of teaching I would actually write down my spiel to the parent before phone and it would inevitable that the conversation would go somewhere that my script did not and I would get flustered. I end up doing a lot of 'uhs' and 'ums' and by the time the phone call is over I wonder if the parent even thinks I'm competent anymore.

Let's face it. Most teachers phone home when there's a problem. Usually we phone home when the problem has either persisted for a long time or serious enough to warrant a call home. Since they're not fun to begin with, we're not about to phone home every time little Bobby says a bad word or little Janet stubs her toe. In fact, most teachers (or maybe just most young teachers, I don't know) put up with a lot in their classroom before they'll pick up the phone and plead for help from parents.

When you do have to phone home because a student crossed the line or you've reached the point they haven't handed in any of the 16 assignments and are about to fail, you look up in the student's information and then pause for a moment by the phone before you dial. You never have any idea who will be on the other end. Sometimes they are super supportive (hooray!) and other times you find yourself on the end of a raging lunatic who thinks it's your fault gas prices are too high and pollution is ruining the ecosystem (ack!). I had to phone home once for a bullying issue and the parent had the nerve to tell me that it 'takes two to be bullied'. I was so flabbergasted I had no idea what to say at the time and the right choice of words only came to me on the drive home.

I don't hide the fact I hate phoning home. I tell my students all the time. I plead with them. "Please. Just do the assignment. Don't make me have to phone home. It's awkward for me, it's awkward for you. No one wins." Sometimes this works and sometimes you still have to head for that dial tone.

With technology, a lot of parents have adopted emailing and I much prefer that because it gives me time to form responses I'm happy with, but I don't think the school system will ever get rid of 'the phone call home'. It's a part of my job I extremely dislike and like my students on occasion, I whine and say to myself "Do I have to??"

It's the Little Things

There are some things that teachers have in common with parents and one of those things is finding the joy in the little things that our students do. We all want our students to do the big things, of course. Who wouldn't want to say that they teach the smartest kid in Ontario or who wrote a novel that got published or is the school's champion in synchronized hacky sack, but chances are these students are few and far between. 

Like a lot of things in life, students fall on a very wide spectrum that range from completely studious and attentive to.... not even sure they're breathing or cognitively aware at the moment. I had one student in my first year of teaching who would constantly fall asleep in English class. I wasn't usually upset about this because it was his mark and his choice and, truth be told, he was passing the class with a good mark so, whatever. But there was a day when I tried to talk to him and got no response. I raised my voice and still no response. I tapped him on the shoulder and... nothing. And for a long moment I thought he might be dead, but then he snored and I was like: "Dude, teach me your sleeping powers."

But I digress.

I had a teacher friend of mine tell me once that sometimes you "just have to find the little things" to feel good about. Maybe you have a super quiet student in your class and today they let out a small grunt when you asked them a question - HOORAY! Right now my current 'little thing' is when a particular student is able to keep his hands, feet, and other objects to himself for a whole 75 minutes. I actually flat out praise him at the end of a class if he hasn't been aggressive and he is so proud. And that's good, because I know that it's a stepping stone and eventually, maybe (hopefully), it'll grow to bigger and better "things" to praise. If not, well, we still have that stepping stone.

A whole class can be like this too. Some classes can be particularly difficult just because of the particular make-up of the classroom. This is especially true when you're dealing with kids who have known each other forever and are either sick and tired of each other or knows everyone's dirty little secrets. It's sometimes like watching a Real Housewives episode on SLICE except with less nose jobs and collagen. 

I had one of those moments today and it seems like the silliest thing, but I was (and am since I'm bragging to the internet right now) so proud of them. We spent half of a period going over Lockdown protocols. We practiced it and they did it IN COMPLETE SILENCE and only took them three tries the first time to take it seriously and I was impressed. Of course, I'll be springing this exercise on them again and again throughout the year, but it's a good procedure (because it can save lives), but also because it teaches valuable skills to the students.

And it's important to remember these little things for the days when your classes make you feel like everything sucks, you suck, and even an ice cream sundae can't solve the problem.